I am a huge football fan. I don't support any specific team, but when champions league is on, or the world cup - I am there - all in. Now it's Euro 2024 time, and its actually my first sober tournament. So when my friend called me up and said "let's go watch the Portugal match tonight" I started getting nervous. I've been watching every game since it started, sort of, but it was all in the safety of my alcohol-free home. Now, we're going to a sports bar, with tons freezing cold beer taps, and I have to work out how to go through it.
I was driving to the bar thinking "how the hell am I going to sit in a sports bar, watch football and don't drink???". After all, football + sports bar = tons of beer. I don't know any other answer to this equation. So in order to disable the trigger, I went in the bar, and immediately ordered a double espresso, regardless of the waiter's astonished face.
Now I have something to hold and drink, and it somehow reduces the crave for a beer. And that worked. 40 minutes later, my friend still doesn't show up, and I decided to go wild and order a coke, served with some crisps. And that was it.
Finally he arrived, ordered his wine and food, and I was just over it.
I was sitting there, looking at everyone around me, all drinking their beers so naturally, so casually, and for a minute I felt like something was wrong me. I was the only person in the bar not holding an alcoholic drink in my hand. But then I started to remind myself all of those football nights I was completely smashed, that champions league final in my house with all the gang, where I fell asleep (again) and so many other game nights I simply don't remember. And I felt proud sitting there with my frozen coke and coffee.
Because it's fucking hard. It's hard not to drink. It's hard being with other people, all looking at you like an alien with the "what's wrong with you? why won't you have a beer?" look, and just keep abstaining.
Stay strong everyone. I feel you, and cheer for you.
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