When you're an addict, you don't need a reason to celebrate. I mean, everything is a reason.
Forget about birthdays, holidays, weddings. Those go without saying. I’m talking about random everyday stuff like, "Ah! I'm off work early today – time for a drink!" or "I'm off work so late – I totally deserve to get trashed," or "It's the weekend, and we're having a nice breakfast – why not add 3-4-5 shots while we're at it?"
There's this urge, this little voice that keeps whispering, "Go ahead, why not? You deserve it!" The truth is, you almost always regret it. Actually, you always regret it. And it may take years to understand the full impact. That concert you missed, that wedding where you had too many, your kid’s birthday.
It sucks.
When you're in it, you don’t see the damage. It’s all about the moment, the immediate gratification. That drink feels like a reward, a way to unwind or celebrate, even if the reason is flimsy at best. “I had a tough day, I need this.” “I had a great day, I earned this.” Any excuse will do.
But then you start to notice the aftermath. The missed opportunities, the foggy memories, the relationships strained by your behavior. It’s a harsh wake-up call, realizing how many important moments you’ve let slip by because of a drink (or five).
I used to think these little celebrations were harmless. Just a way to spice up the mundane. But they add up. The hangovers, the guilt, the shame – they become a constant presence. You look back and see a trail of regrets, things you wish you could have done differently.
It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking you deserve it. That life is hard, and you need these little pick-me-ups to get through. But the reality is, these “celebrations” are just masking the real issues. They’re a temporary escape, not a solution.
It takes a while to break free from that mindset. To realize that you don’t need alcohol to enjoy life, to celebrate, or to cope with stress. It’s a tough journey, and there are setbacks along the way. But each step forward is worth it.
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